Tuesday, July 22, 2014
I have been thinking of what to get for your 21st. And truth to be told, I have no idea at all.
Though I've said that I will treat the concert as part of your 21st, I don't know what to do for the other half of it.
I want to make it as special as possible. I even thought of spending a short trip to desaru beach with you.
But then again, it is not a wise idea.
I thought of giving you a branded watch. But it's not so appropriate as I have bought you watches before.
Scrapbook is out, so does clothing too.
Sigh...
Was also thinking of baking a birthday cake for you instead of the usual aka ordering from other bakeries.
Oh well, I still have time to think.
Hopefully, I will churn out something fron my brain.
P.S the present will be something full of LOVE.
Though I've said that I will treat the concert as part of your 21st, I don't know what to do for the other half of it.
I want to make it as special as possible. I even thought of spending a short trip to desaru beach with you.
But then again, it is not a wise idea.
I thought of giving you a branded watch. But it's not so appropriate as I have bought you watches before.
Scrapbook is out, so does clothing too.
Sigh...
Was also thinking of baking a birthday cake for you instead of the usual aka ordering from other bakeries.
Oh well, I still have time to think.
Hopefully, I will churn out something fron my brain.
P.S the present will be something full of LOVE.
♥SWAK
12:54 AM
12:54 AM
Had been thinking a lot over the past one week.
Never had I done something so different and 彻底.
To be honest, I don't want to keep the status quo and let someone misunderstand my intentions.
We used to be so close but because I felt that I had been letting this person on, I felt that something is needed to be done in order for this person to move on.
I tried to be nonchalent about the things we've talked about.
But what I do not understand is why must you always breach the subject about my boyfriend.
You kept asking me about my welfare with my boyfriend and I just want to say I am really and honestly happy with my life and there is nothing not normal about it.
You make it sound like I am unhappy in my relationship and I needed someone to talk to. But no, I am good as it is.
I admit, I have changed because this person. But that doesn't mean that I am not that concerned. I just need some breathing space and I hope you will give it to me.
Never had I done something so different and 彻底.
To be honest, I don't want to keep the status quo and let someone misunderstand my intentions.
We used to be so close but because I felt that I had been letting this person on, I felt that something is needed to be done in order for this person to move on.
I tried to be nonchalent about the things we've talked about.
But what I do not understand is why must you always breach the subject about my boyfriend.
You kept asking me about my welfare with my boyfriend and I just want to say I am really and honestly happy with my life and there is nothing not normal about it.
You make it sound like I am unhappy in my relationship and I needed someone to talk to. But no, I am good as it is.
I admit, I have changed because this person. But that doesn't mean that I am not that concerned. I just need some breathing space and I hope you will give it to me.
♥SWAK
12:37 AM
12:37 AM
Sunday, July 6, 2014
I have enough on my plate.
It is hard that I don't get to see my boyfriend much and only once a week.
I feel lonely because I want more but I can't ask for it.
There you go asking me this and that.
Asking me to go brunch/dinner with you on a weekend.
FYI, I only get to see my boy on the weekend.
Enough that you are insensitive towards me (you've been asking me questions about how I feel about marriage and how Lionel and me are going to go along), I already burst at you once but apparently you don't get my hint.
It's not I don't see a future in Lionel and me, but I do.
It's just not the time to think.
You kept asking and asking until recently, I have been ignoring some of your texts.
I know that you have feelings for me and I don't want to create false hope for you.
I tried using Yinghao as a shield but it only rebounded me back.
You admitted that you tried to woo me and told me you've been treating me like your possible girl.
I told you I have never treated you any different from the past and that is true.
To ignore your a friend's text is still okay.
Lionel will totally flip if I don't respond because he is my boyfriend and he has the right to.
You don't. But inside your heart, you behave like a jealous boyfriend and get blackfaced at me even though you know you don't have the right to.
You said nevermind but you know what?
You mind a lot.
For the record, I hate it when friends give me attitude because of my absence.
It's not like you are my loved ones or relatives.
And to think that Yinghao asked me to appreciate your gestures more often.
Well, diu that man.
First of all, I have no feelings towards besides a good friend.
Do you think I would give up my 5 years worth of love for you?
No. Lionel is special. He is and will always be.
So screw your thinking and get off my back.
I can and will if you make me to.
Secondly, don't make me prove what Amanda said was right when she broke up with you.
From liking me to liking Amanda and now back to me?
What the fuck is this warped logic?
Lastly, this will be my last warning.
Treat me like what a friend should do, or our friendship is over like how you and Amanda are.
Totally strangers...
P.S Lionel is everything to me, so just give it up.
P.P.S I doubt I ever want to go out alone with you ever again.
It is hard that I don't get to see my boyfriend much and only once a week.
I feel lonely because I want more but I can't ask for it.
There you go asking me this and that.
Asking me to go brunch/dinner with you on a weekend.
FYI, I only get to see my boy on the weekend.
Enough that you are insensitive towards me (you've been asking me questions about how I feel about marriage and how Lionel and me are going to go along), I already burst at you once but apparently you don't get my hint.
It's not I don't see a future in Lionel and me, but I do.
It's just not the time to think.
You kept asking and asking until recently, I have been ignoring some of your texts.
I know that you have feelings for me and I don't want to create false hope for you.
I tried using Yinghao as a shield but it only rebounded me back.
You admitted that you tried to woo me and told me you've been treating me like your possible girl.
I told you I have never treated you any different from the past and that is true.
To ignore your a friend's text is still okay.
Lionel will totally flip if I don't respond because he is my boyfriend and he has the right to.
You don't. But inside your heart, you behave like a jealous boyfriend and get blackfaced at me even though you know you don't have the right to.
You said nevermind but you know what?
You mind a lot.
For the record, I hate it when friends give me attitude because of my absence.
It's not like you are my loved ones or relatives.
And to think that Yinghao asked me to appreciate your gestures more often.
Well, diu that man.
First of all, I have no feelings towards besides a good friend.
Do you think I would give up my 5 years worth of love for you?
No. Lionel is special. He is and will always be.
So screw your thinking and get off my back.
I can and will if you make me to.
Secondly, don't make me prove what Amanda said was right when she broke up with you.
From liking me to liking Amanda and now back to me?
What the fuck is this warped logic?
Lastly, this will be my last warning.
Treat me like what a friend should do, or our friendship is over like how you and Amanda are.
Totally strangers...
P.S Lionel is everything to me, so just give it up.
P.P.S I doubt I ever want to go out alone with you ever again.
♥SWAK
2:13 AM
2:13 AM
Monday, March 3, 2014
The one question I dread the most was asked yesterday.
"Where is your boyfriend?"
Each time the question was asked, my heart sank deeper and deeper.
When I collected the stuff from him, I had a heavy heart. It got worse when I saw his face.
I cried when I walked back to my home. Nobody knew I broke down. I melted when I saw the message he sent. I wanted to call out and ask him to come. But I didn't. I knew my parents won't be happy and I don't want to be sandwiched, and so, I didn't asked.
It took me a while to open up all the gifts. I opened his last. When I saw the gifts he gave me, I broke down again. This time, in my room, alone. I melted when I saw the letter. I softened. I want him to know that I want to be his everything, the story of his life, his future. But I can't do it without him compromising with what I want.
I want us to work. I don't want to give us up. We really need to talk and compromise. I want to prove to my parents that he is worth my love.
Lastly, I want him to listen to my favourite songs, Open arms by Journey and 爱你 by Kimberly Chen.
"Where is your boyfriend?"
Each time the question was asked, my heart sank deeper and deeper.
When I collected the stuff from him, I had a heavy heart. It got worse when I saw his face.
I cried when I walked back to my home. Nobody knew I broke down. I melted when I saw the message he sent. I wanted to call out and ask him to come. But I didn't. I knew my parents won't be happy and I don't want to be sandwiched, and so, I didn't asked.
It took me a while to open up all the gifts. I opened his last. When I saw the gifts he gave me, I broke down again. This time, in my room, alone. I melted when I saw the letter. I softened. I want him to know that I want to be his everything, the story of his life, his future. But I can't do it without him compromising with what I want.
I want us to work. I don't want to give us up. We really need to talk and compromise. I want to prove to my parents that he is worth my love.
Lastly, I want him to listen to my favourite songs, Open arms by Journey and 爱你 by Kimberly Chen.
Below are voice recordings that I sang. Select the title to hear it.
I love you.
♥SWAK
12:56 AM
12:56 AM
Saturday, March 1, 2014
I love you a lot, I really do.
But what must I do to make you care for me the way I want you to?
I feel so insecure.
But what must I do to make you care for me the way I want you to?
I feel so insecure.
♥SWAK
2:52 AM
2:52 AM